Saturday, September 1, 2012

How to be Feminine

A Feminine Woman, For Sure

The modern man and woman must re-learn courtship strategies that have been core to our species since we walked upright on two legs. The industrial revolution, equal rights movement of the 60′s, and outrageous advances in technology have interfered dramatically with our ability to connect and commit in meaningful ways. Our culture changes at internet speeds now. We have blown everything up and now we’re totally lost and confused. We have to recreate everything in a whole new way.
In today's world, women, in order to look firm, independent and strong, they cut themselves off from their femininity, intuition, and natural power. However, anything a woman can do to ground herself and connect with her own body will make her more attractive and empowered to make good decisions for herself.

Most of us have mistaken "feminine" as referring only to the external appearance of a woman. Before all, we should describe "femininity" first.

What is femininity?

Femininity is a gentle, tender quality that is apparent in a woman’s appearance, manner, actions and nature. In simple terms, femininity is a set of attributes, behaviors and roles generally associated with girls and women. Femininity is made up of both socially defined and biologically created factors.

We can summarize it in:

Manners: Gentleness, empathy, softness, sensitivity, caring, vulnerability, sweetness, tenderness, compassion, tolerance, nurturance, deference are behaviors generally considered feminine.

Look: The ideal of feminine appearance has traditionally included long, flowing hair, light skin, a narrow waist, and little or no body hair or facial hair. In other cultures, however, these standards may vary.

Clothing:Red lipstick, high heels, dresses showing off her feminine curves are considered feminine.


Feminine women are soft, dependent, delicate, submissive, trusting, and childlike among other things. The best way to describe femininity is by the lack of masculine ability and traits - there is an absence of male aggressiveness, competency, efficiency, fearlessness, strength, and the ability to “kill your own snakes”. 

Men love femininity since it is such a great contrast to their masculinity. A feminine woman makes a man feel more masculine - and this feeling is one of his most pleasurable experiences.

Femininity and "tender, romantic feelings in a man" go hand-in-hand. When femininity goes, so do the tender feelings. He may still love you, continue to respect you, and appreciate what you do, but you will not awaken his more tender, cherishing side. 

The truly feminine woman is naturally inclined toward all aspects of womanhood. She is proud to be a woman, delighted to have a function different than a man’s, happy to be a mother, satisfied with her career in the home and does not seek fulfillment in the man’s world. 

Areas of focus are both outward and inward. Outer femininity zeroes in on the appearance, manner of dress and the way you move and act, while inner femininity covers your nature and attitude toward your feminine role. 

Femininity is the direct opposite to masculinity, and it is acquired by accentuating these differences. If you are pondering a feminine response to something, study a man and do the opposite! You won’t be far off the mark since there are very few similarities.

Accentuate the Differences

When thinking of your appearance the rule is to accentuate the differences between yourself and men in the following ways:
  • Materials - Think of those materials that are most feminine in their color, feel, weight, and effect. Men don’t wear fluffy, lacey, or filmy fabrics, but tend to put on heavier fabrics like tweeds, suit fabrics, herringbone, and denim. Avoid these especially if they are tailored or cut in a man’s style. Use them only if they are made in a feminine manner or color. Instead choose your clothing from fabrics like crisp cottons, fine woolens, linens, silks, satins, lace, and finer weaves. Angora, satin, velvet, and organdie are extremely feminine. Don’t think these things are old-fashioned, they are wonderful if made in today’s fashions. An angora sweater or a silky nightgown is delightful for a man to touch.
  • Color - Feminine colors are soft, light, pastel, clear and rich. Even black can be a very feminine color when used of right fabrics. Avoid drab colors like browns, grays and khaki. These can be used if they are of a feminine fabric, cut or style.
  • Design - Many prints are very masculine in look and should be avoided. Also stay away from loud, gaudy designs or those lacking in good taste. The print should accentuate and draw attention to the woman, not to itself. They should see you first, not your clothes.
  • Style - I am sure you have all seen the business-suit look for women. It is anything but feminine. Make sure the cut and style of your clothes is not mannish suits, shirts, cuffs, or ties. Instead, wear full skirts, ruffles, puffs, gathers and drapes. Wear clothes that accentuate your figure while still being modest. Pants are always in the forefront of the discussion on a feminine woman’s style of dress. Pants are not the most feminine thing to wear. If you do wear them, make sure the style, color and cut are feminine and attractive. I would also suggest you get a picture of yourself from front and back to see how you really look in pants. If you wear them, make sure the rest of your outfit is feminine.
  • Trim - You can soften the masculine effect of clothes by the smart use of trims and embellishments. Add feminine touches like a bit of lace, satin, pearls, beads, belts, etc.
  • Accessories - Use purses that are feminine and in good taste. Avoid the briefcase look. Shoes and jewelry are great areas to add a feminine touches.
  • Grooming - Keep yourself clean and smelling pretty. Pay attention to the state of your clothes. Iron them if needed and keep them in good repair. Keep your hairstyle attractive and in a feminine cut.
  • Makeup - If you use makeup, learn how to apply it skillfully. It should be used to accentuate your natural features, not overwhelm your audience. If you do not know how to apply it, or don’t know the colors to use, many stores give free makeovers. Get one done and don’t be afraid to ask questions.
  • Modesty - Men do not respect women who wear low-cut blouses, scanty clothes, and lingerie in public. The ideal is too look attractive but not attracting.


Femininity comes from the inside out; it’s not something that you “put on” in order to give an appearance. The time that a woman is truly feminine is when she’s being totally authentic. 

A woman is feminine when she is aware of her genderly beauties and her power the Nature gave her. Plus, when she knows how to get dressed and behave! Definitely classy!!!

1 comment:

  1. LOVED this article. Definitively needed in today's society. HOWEVER, at the beginning of the article the author describes the feminine look as "light skin" - what about women who have a darker skin tone? is that considered "masculine"? that was a very stupid thing to put in an otherwise great article.


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